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Here are the band biographies. Hence the title 'Bios'.
Like some sick parade of freaks shambling around Hertfordshire and beyond, Blood$ells are as varied and disturbing a bunch of people as you will ever meet. But do you really want to get inside our minds? There are, of course, two options:
1) Become a psychiatrist
2) Read these bios.
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**NEW BOY**
Ollie Webb:
Webb is the new lead vocalist in Blood$ells, and, unlike his predecessor Geoff, plays rhythm guitar. Webb currently lives between his flat in Liverpool and his house in Hertfordshire, which makes things amusingly awkward. Webb enjoys skateboarding, running into walls and smokin' the weed. A lot. He's a bit manic, and tends to walk into things or fall over them, so he's going to fit right into Blood$ells. Please be nice to him, or he'll no doubt perform one of his many wrestling manoeuvres on you. Webb listens to OPM, Sum 41, Kid Rock and any other skate-punk shite that heads his way. |
Dr Darren Newstead:
Darren was born and raised in London but, despite this apparent handicap, is moderately well-spoken. He plays the drums, and loves to piss about on his PC in his spare time. Apart from his flared nostrils and borderline obesity, one of the first things you'll notice about Darren is his collection of tattoos. He's got about 9 now and, quite frankly, he won't shut up about them. Darren listens to any old shite, and due to his whole-hearted embrace of the mp3 format, listens to any song that takes his fancy. Bothering the neighbours at the moment are Cypress Hill, Adema, American Head Charge and Rammstein. |
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'Mad' Kenny Kain:
Despite his scary moniker, Kenny isn't actually mad. Apart from his trousers. Ken is a country boy, but you wouldn't think it if you met him. Whilst simultaneously staring at his tattoos and bizarre ginger/black hair combination, you would find that Kenny enjoys drinking, smoking and listening to loud music. Oh, and he likes porn. Kenny enjoys playing his bass because it affords him the opportunity to not really do much onstage. His other multitude talents include quoting every episode of 'Bottom', being quite witty, and saying things like "Rockin'!" Kenny listens to Clawfinger, Godsmack, Metallica, The Union Underground and One Minute Silence. |
Big T.E Clips:
When he's not body doubling for Jim Hetfield and WWE's Big Show, T.E likes to get his hands dirty. Literally. Because he's a car mechanic. He also 'plays' the 7-string guitar and provides our band with all kinds of funky riffs to snap our necks to. T.E has only got one tattoo, but you could land an aeroplane on it. If you're walking about in North Herts and you have to leap out of the way of some supersonic Fiesta, chances are T.E's at the wheel. Due to his petrol-head commitment, T.E doesn't drink much and is probably the most clean-living out of all of us. But by God, he eats liking a fucking horse, man.
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